not so little, but i'm thankful for seizures, however weird that might be.

this is not little. it hasn't been a tiny, miniscule thing in my life. but i figure this blog is all about being thankful. for everything. especially the little things. but also for not so little things. and things you wouldn't expect someone to be thankful. like my epilepsy and weird joint problems and my body practically revolting. you wouldn't expect someone to be praising and thanking God for such not good things. you hear someone has seizures, or is in pain to some extent everyday, and you don't immediately think 'thank God!', if you're human, you probably think 'man, why do things like this have to happen to people!?' which is what i have said for quite some time. but ya know what? i'm realizing how much of a blessing they have been. the bad things. the having to take daily meds and having not been able to drive for a while and all that. i know it sounds cliche and stupid, but. the suffering in life makes the good things so much sweeter and you so much more thankful for everything. and i'd like to think it toughens me up too. i'm not so wimpy and powerless anymore. its rather hard to explain, since you have not gone through the exact things and feelings and thoughts that i have. but. i dont know. i've just had this overwhelming thankful attitude for the not so great crap in life. it pushes me out of my comfort zone, helps me grow. i highly doubt i would be the person i am today if i had not gone through the things i have. i'm not sure that i can pinpoint a lot of specific instances. but, for example. seizures. theres not really much of anything i can do to stop them. i mean i can take drugs and not do certain things or whatever. but i can't control everything my body decides to do. if my brain's gonna go crazy, its gonna go crazy. period. this lack of control has helped me a lot with just going with the flow of things. its just a sort of gradual attitude change. even more reason to be thankful for them is the fact that God can do amazing things. well, that He could design something as intricate and amazing as the human brain. that though he gave/allowed my brain some nice crazy neurons, he made them calm down. not at all saying that they could go crazy at any point in my life again. but that they could stop. for them to be so easily controlled and mild in the first place. things could be so much worse. though, i think that if they were, i'd find a way to thank God for everything in one way or another eventually. great lessons and things can come from not so great things. afterall, the object of life is not to avoid pain or trouble. beautiful things often require pain and trouble. beautiful things such as my intense faith and discovery of God and the person i am today and my attitude towards things, they required trouble and lack of comfort to develop. you grow so much more when you're not comfortable. there are so many things you learn when you are not in a content, comfortable place in life. so yea. i'm thankful for my seizures and all my weird body quirks. even if it sounds crazy... i don't care. :)